After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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