sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
