dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
smell my finger.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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