i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
