That's when you crack a 10am beer
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
did you just send me my own nude
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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