Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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