he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
