Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
