How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
