a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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