69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The best revenge is premature balding
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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