I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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