I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
