my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
