none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
