Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
