OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
