... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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