I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
