everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
