Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
People in love make me want to vomit
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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