there's paper in my vomit.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
