we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
