is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
