it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
