why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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