my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
