Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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