Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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