I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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