i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
