Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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