my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
