You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
