I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
