Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
