But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
