yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
