party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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