jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
