Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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