I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
there is glitter all over my balls
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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