i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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