Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
