Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
