No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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