Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
