i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
