don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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