Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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