my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
