It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
