There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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