Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
