I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
