Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize