Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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