how do flat chested girls get laid?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
