i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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