it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
farters have to be the big spoon...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
