Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
