He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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