i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
