You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
