Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize