was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
